You are a self absorbed prick of a teenager and I hope you fall off your crap ass skateboard, sprain your ankle badly, and someone immediately kicks it, really hard.
And then someone else laughs at your pain.
And your hair is terrible.
6/29/10
kick
Dear 14/15 yr old Dude sitting in the middle seat, next to me, on the plane, who brought nothing to entertain himself, so he felt it was ok to look over my shoulder as I worked a word puzzle, or changed songs on my iPod, then (while goofing with his skateboard) kicked me directly in the ankle joint that was recently sprained and still painful, Oh, and as we Landed, pointed out the window on my other side- successfully put his pointing finger directly in my face- 3 TIMES:
6/25/10
plates
Pure Genius- well done
6/24/10
formal
On my drive in this morning I saw custom plates that read "MSSCRPT" and "MRTSHRT":
Why so formal?
6/22/10
zoot
Dear Dude in the full rig of zoot suit with shoes & Fedora hat, standing at a stoplight in Hollywood:
The iPod headphone cord running out of your jacket is kind of ruining the effect. I'm just saying.
6/17/10
ankle
Dear Dude in the elevator who responded to my sprained ankle and crutches with "it'll never be the same again, it never really heals":
You are a Douchebag.
6/9/10
swingin'
Dear whoever decided that it's not worth buying a bench swing when you can just hang the bench you already have off the tree with ropes and some elbow grease:
Genius.
6/8/10
radiator
Dear Lady driving down 6th street with the entire front end of her car missing:
Your radiator is showing.
6/3/10
bones
Dear Lady in the locker room who is so skinny I can see each vertebra in your spine, and every rib you have, and moving as slow as a sloth:
Generations of italian mothers in my lineage make me want to cook for you and force you to eat it. Like a good baked ziti with extra cheese. I don't even know how to make that, but I want to.
Seriously, if you're moving that slow, you need some food in you.
It's not normal.
6/1/10
pause
Dear Dude in the SUV stopped to let people cross the road:
it's a nice gesture, but there's no one behind you- if you just kept going, you'd accomplish the same thing, without blocking the view of the pedestrians.
I'm just sayin'.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)