balls

Dear Dude who named this Food truck (cause you know this was a dude)

Gold star for most creative Food truck name.

troubador

Dear Dude playing his guitar & singing on a busy Hollywood street corner, like a true busker:

I admire your courage to play publicly, and its gotta be good training for dealing with unruly crowds, but I gotta say- in Hollywood, people just default to thinking your crazy when you do stuff like that. So, if you're hoping to get discovered, that's probably not the way to do it.....

fights

Dear Older Heavier Dude who is roaming the world wearing ratty capri pants:

Why do I feel like those pants have been the cause of many fights at home.....Cause no life partner worth their salt would let you outta the house like that.

licenced?

Dear Dude who left his dog in his car, and the dog then proceeded to do this:

Thanks for that- This made me laugh really hard at the light, and totally made my morning.

Oh and PS, your Dog is awesome.

bling

Dear lady (I assume it was a lady) driving the BMW 5-series that still had dealer plates on it:

You already clearly have more money then me, do you really need a blinged out license plate frame? I mean, pretend diamonds on your plates? Seems a bit much.

esteem

Dear Lady in the gym I overheard while getting ready to workout today:

I'm sorry you're such a mess, but hearing you talk about needing plastic surgery in order to accomplish a body type your boyfriend wants you to have, when you're in your FORTIES is just the most pitiful thing I've heard in a while.

Dear the 2 older ladies who were having this discussion with the above lady:

You're both awesome for telling this lady how it is, and that she shouldn't do this stuff just for a man. Your perspective on life is awesome, and I appreciate it, even if she blew you off politely.

music

Super flamboyant guy at the gym with super flamboyant club music playing over his headphones to another, quieter guy as they both sat on the chairs in the lobby:

"If you listen to this music, you'll lose 5 lbs a week. Guaranteed."

there are no words.

sheer

Dear Ladies of America- A general note:

If you've chosen to wear something that is sheer, but only in the "this fabric couldn't be made any thicker" way ( as opposed to the "won't it be cool to layer this up with something else" way) Don't wear something super bright under it.

For example, a long sleeve white shirt with a fuschia bra under it.

Or, as I saw yesterday, a light knit sweater with a bright blue sports bra tank under it. This was not a wise choice for what seemed to be casual business attire.

Either go sheer, or wear the right undergarment (flesh toned bra seems to work well in most instances). 'Cause the other options just look like you have no mirror at home.

flinging

Dear Dude running in Hollywood, with an arm flinging style that reminds me of a 5 yr old in the playground:

I would bash on this, except the smile on your face indicated you were having a TON of fun running this way, so instead I applaud it.

You go with your arm flinging self, Sir.

kneesocks

Dear Lady in the locker room at the gym, who is CLEARLY in her mid to late 30s:

Ok, look, this might sound kind of mean, but really, you need to hear this- you are TOO old to carry the knee socks, loafers, and pleated skirt look. pretty much anyone over 23, or not a playmate, should opt out of that look. Especially at work.

Really.

Let it go.

cracks

Dear Dude riding his bike down Highland Ave yesterday mid-morning:

While I admire you using your bike to get around and run errands or whatever, I'm gonna have to insist upon either better fitting pants, OR a belt. 'Cause Dude- 4 inches of a sweaty ass crack is NEVER a good look.

NEVER.

pride

Dear Proud Parent:

Best

Bumper Sticker

EVER

traffic

Dear everyone participating in Friday traffic jam throughout Hollywood:

Last minute lane changes and using blinkers for one direction, then going the other makes you a bunch of ass hats. As a group. All of you.

skinny

Dear Lady who has an enviable, and probably, negative level of body fat (we'll call her skinny bitch) who was running towards me on teh bike path this morning:

Your running form is such a disaster, you honestly made me feel like a strong and gorgeous woman. Skinny ain't strong, and I'll take being strong any day. So, thanks for your flailing legs and chicken wing arm position- They made my morning.

underwear

Dear Dude pushing his shopping cart house up a main Blvd in Hollywood in his underwear:

You look like you're working pretty hard, getting warm and it is pretty warm outside today, so I'm not gonna judge the lack of pants. I do wonder why you still have a jacket on though.