kneesocks

Dear Lady in the locker room at the gym, who is CLEARLY in her mid to late 30s:

Ok, look, this might sound kind of mean, but really, you need to hear this- you are TOO old to carry the knee socks, loafers, and pleated skirt look. pretty much anyone over 23, or not a playmate, should opt out of that look. Especially at work.

Really.

Let it go.

cracks

Dear Dude riding his bike down Highland Ave yesterday mid-morning:

While I admire you using your bike to get around and run errands or whatever, I'm gonna have to insist upon either better fitting pants, OR a belt. 'Cause Dude- 4 inches of a sweaty ass crack is NEVER a good look.

NEVER.

pride

Dear Proud Parent:

Best

Bumper Sticker

EVER

traffic

Dear everyone participating in Friday traffic jam throughout Hollywood:

Last minute lane changes and using blinkers for one direction, then going the other makes you a bunch of ass hats. As a group. All of you.

skinny

Dear Lady who has an enviable, and probably, negative level of body fat (we'll call her skinny bitch) who was running towards me on teh bike path this morning:

Your running form is such a disaster, you honestly made me feel like a strong and gorgeous woman. Skinny ain't strong, and I'll take being strong any day. So, thanks for your flailing legs and chicken wing arm position- They made my morning.

underwear

Dear Dude pushing his shopping cart house up a main Blvd in Hollywood in his underwear:

You look like you're working pretty hard, getting warm and it is pretty warm outside today, so I'm not gonna judge the lack of pants. I do wonder why you still have a jacket on though.

excess

Dear Dude who is long gone from the elevator by the time I got on it:

If I can smell that much cologne on the elevator and you're gone, then you are probably killing people slowly when you're actually around them.

New year, new dosage- try like 4 less sprays to start.

grammar

Dear Dude who decided to put this sign on the back of his truck:

( it reads: MONKEY'S

With There Monkey Business May Follow)

Do you have something against proof reading? Does it offend you in some way?

'Cause you really needed to do it before you committed to this.

Really.

clips.... again

Dear Lady running her little heart out on the bike path, while still going slower then most people can walk, with FOUR hair clips in her hair, in a line down the center of her head, none of which were actually holding any of her hair back:

I admire your tenacity with the running, but we may want to take another look on how to use those hair clips, cause something seems..... off.

clips

Dear older Dude standing on the corner of the street and the bike path (which is HEAVILY trafficked by walkers/ runners/riders on a given weekend morning) while clipping his finger nails:

I .... just don't.... understand.....

Is your bathroom the only unsuitable bathroom for nail clipping on the planet?

apologies

Hey all

Sorry for the slim pickins here for a while. Life got busy, I got bad at remembering my notes to the people of the world, etc etc etc, excuse excuse.

Feel free to comment away and berate me for slacking.

I shall continue to slack for a little while longer, due to scheduling of life stuff. I hope to bring you holiday cheer with my "Dear you people" moments once we hit December.

Until then, I'll do what i can, but mainly, I'll just slack some more.

-me

fashion

Dear Dudes everywhere-

There is something you need to know. The super big shorts that are long enough to hang past your knees with sport socks pulled up tight to mid-calf look is not a good one.

It makes you look fat.

There I said it.

It's a harsh, truth, but someone had to say it.

This has been going on too long.

nods

Dear Dude on the elevator, reading the new flash screen we have in there (its like a little news title page thing that updates every few seconds) and nodding at one of the stories, before realizing I was looking his way- also reading the screen:

Yeah, I saw that.

yeah, I passed judgement on you as a result.

I'm not proud of it, but neither are you it seems.

tow

Dear Dude driving the tow truck through 2 very definitively red lights:

This is NOT how to get more business. Trust me.

jerk

Dear Dude who decided he was entirely the wrong lane and merged over 2 lanes in a 100 ft distance, in the rain, in bad traffic:

Jerk.