seating

Dear Dude who decided to number the seats in the Rose Bowl so that Section 7 seat 20 and Section 6 seat 120 were directly next to each other with absolutely no way of telling them apart, confusing everyone in a 8 seat, 3 row radius:

You're a D-bag.

troll

Dear Dude in the classic car, all customized out with Troll Doll paraphernalia, including license plates and a minimum of 9 dolls on display:

I.......

there's.........

There are no words for this

 

needles

Dear Lady waiting for over an hour with the rest of us for her flu shot, who felt the need to start getting really cranky with the Guy who had just showed up minutes ago and was trying to get things organized:

Look, I'm no more excited about any of this then you are, but talking to that grown man like he's a stupid child is not getting any of us out of here faster.

And it's just annoying.

red rocks

Dear Dude at the Hollywood bowl (open air concert venue- very historic, very nice, very clean, very accessible to the masses) who kept saying "Red Rocks was SO much better. I don't get it with this place. It's so overhyped. This is no Red Rocks." to his fur coat/stacked heel wearing prissy girlfriend/ date person:

OK, fine, if that's how you feel, but do they let you talk full volume through 90% of the event at Red Rocks? I don't think so.

So SHUT IT!

flail

Dear Lady flapping her arms about like a muppet (elbows way out, wrists limp and up, shoulders forward) while running:

You look a mess, and you have got to be exhausted from all that flailing

tutu

Dear Lady wearing the bright pink tutu, zebra print top and lace tights at 9am on a Monday, walking around Hollywood:

Not sure if I love or hate the outfit, but I admire the hell out of the person bold enough to wear it.

calamity

Dear Dad who stopped paying attention to his 3 yr old son who had tried 2x in 2 minutes to run into traffic, just long enough for the child to ACTUALLY run into traffic:

I hope you both pissed your pants

AND

Dear Driver who responded with cat-like reflexes to avoid said child running in front of his car with little to no warning:

Really glad you went for the german engineering when you bought your car.

rain

Dear Dude driving home in front of me last night:

I know seeing the lane markers can be hard in the rain- but just putting your car dead center and driving slow is NOT the answer.

That shit's just dangerous.

parallel

Dear Dude blocking my lane in order to parallel park:

You made it in one fluid movement- Gold star for you!

stencils

Dear Dude who thought a Stencil Lettered hand painted sign would look professional enough for the front of the "technical college":

No

Wrong

Very, very wrong

pants

Dear Dude with the Sideshow Bob hair and the pants that won't stay on your ass:

Chicks dig a really dirty looking dude with a beer gut.

No, really.

center line

Dear Dude running up the center of the road:

Are you trying to get fit, or get hit?

I remain unclear.

booth

Dear Lady who's son was doing cartwheels, un-reprimanded,  ON the booth at the restaurant- a shared booth where many tables were lined up next to each other, making it so that 3-4 couples asked NOT to be seated at the next table because they didn't want to be kicked in the head while dining:

I know having kids is hard work and people get tired and all, but that is NOT acceptable. Ever.

AND

Dear Lady hostess at said restaurant who repeatedly tried to seat people next to insane child, and never said anything to above mentioned mother about maybe controlling insane child:

Wow. really? The elderly couple? really? he's doing CARTWHEELS on the BOOTH seat. REPEATEDLY.

really?

heartbreak

Dear 4 legged Dude who made my life so much more entertaining and worthwhile for the past (almost) 9 years:

nothing will be the same without you

my heart is broken

wind

Dear Dude/ Lady who decided that in the most recent Pepto commercial the 'competition' anti-acid should be called "wind jammers":

Brilliant